From Mat Leave To Back To School

12 months mat leave came and went in the blink of an eye. Everyone always tells you to enjoy it, to embrace it, to cherish every moment with the little one before the time is gone. Totally right. With or without children we know that time flies by and my mat leave this past year seemed to zoom by even faster than I had imagined.

My official “back to school” was at the end of April where I went back to the virtual world of teaching. I had planned to go back as a substitute until September where I would takeover my usual position teaching French, however, the pandemic had other plans for myself and for many others. Teaching virtually was a whole new experience both positive and negative. What it did do was buy me more time at home with my daughter. I could teach between her naps and not have to stress about childcare or spending days without her. Before I knew it summer break arrived giving me that much more time with her. I acknowledge how lucky I am.

As September start up is just around the corner, I have tons of mixed feelings about going back to work. Firstly I am that sad, anxious parent who doesn’t want to leave their child. Quite possibly it will be worse for myself than for her. Who am I kidding? I know it will be! I have never spent a full day without her and even a few hours away makes me miss her like crazy and wonder how she’s doing. Hope I don’t sound crazy! Ha. My wise side knows it will be okay. She will be okay. Daycare will be okay with learning and social opportunities around every corner. In short, we will survive and thrive, I know it.

School-wise this is not how I imagined my official, full-time, back to the classroom return to be. From the moment I began my mat leave, I have missed the kids and my classroom. Having never left in 15 years it has been quite the change of routine and lifestyle for me. Being a teacher is a huge part of who I am so I definitely have missed it. At the same time now being a mother, my return is bittersweet with a mix of excitement and sadness.

A return to school amidst a pandemic brings even more emotions and apprehensions into the mix. Whether it is justifiable or not, whether you understand or not, I am nervous and uneasy about the return. I visualize my classroom and the 30 desks that I struggle to organize even in a normal school year. Even with extreme attention and care, a safe physically distanced environment is next to impossible in the space we have to work with. Desks and spacing aside, what about the relationships I pride myself in fostering? When kids need help, how will I approach their sides to help? When kids need to chat and seek personal advice, how will I lean in to listen and console? When a high five or solid hug is all a child needs to turn their frown upside down, what will I give in its place? Same goes with colleagues. I know I can stand in one spot and lecture away but that is most definitely not my style. Moving left and right, up and down the aisles seems like a distant memory.

While I am well aware of the safety precautions and changes that should be put into place, teaching and learning as we know it has changed. Although we yearn to return and continue to educate and support our kids, is going back into the building the best choice? Is not enforcing masks etc a wise decision for the safety of everyone involved? Is it feasible to implement all the necessary changes in the school because if not, is going back a good idea?

I am not necessarily saying that I have all of the answers to these questions. I am simply speaking my mind and sharing personal thoughts, worries, and concerns. I am not just thinking of myself but also my family, my students, their families and the community as a whole.

Questions, feelings, and thoughts aside, I am ready to take on the school year. I will do my best to continue to give one hundred percent of myself to my students which means keeping their education, well-being and safety at heart.

Let’s work together and do our part to keep each other safe. <3